My follow up book to Identity Snatchers is releasing soon!
When I sent a copy of Identity Snatchers to people for endorsements, Dr. Hempelmann in Germany replied that the book is a critical examination of the group.
“This book is part of a critical examination of University Bible Fellowship. It gives insight into the structures and methods of this controversial group that’s work is focused on students.” –Dr. Reinhard Hempelmann, Director of the Protestant Centre of Religious and Ideological Issues, Berlin Germany
In my follow up book, Identity Peace, I share the rest of the story. I share how I recovered (and am recovering) from two decades of UBF shepherd training. I share practical steps anyone can take to reconnect with their personal identity after experiencing narcissistic control or high-demand authoritarian relationships. Much of what I suggest is in agreement with Stephen Hassan’s books about recovering freedom of mind and escaping undue influence.
Questions I attempt to answer are the following:
- Am I a defender of truth or an enabler of lies?
- Am I a missionary or a Korean support network?
- Am I a husband or a co-worker?
- Am I a Christian or a pawn for cults?
- What are my personality traits?
- What is my emotional intelligence level?
- What are my strengths?
Here is an excerpt form the work in progress.
Why am I writing this book? When I wrote my previous book, Identity Snatchers, I envisioned writing this follow-up—a book about how to recover lost identity and build a new life after negative religious experiences in controlling groups. The challenge is that such a book requires that I recover my own identity and rebuild my own life. I need time to reconnect with my wife, since our marriage had been arranged in the course of three weeks. We spent most of our marriage as religious co-workers and not as husband and wife. I need time to process what happened to us at the Korean Bible group. Are we heretics and troublemakers, as the group’s leaders accuse us of being? Are we denying our faith and abandoning God by leaving? Are we sinners doing Satan’s work of poisoning current members’ minds by sharing our story publicly? Will God punish us for causing division? Are we disgruntled former members who need to stop seeing ourselves as victims and move on with our lives?
As I write this new book, I have indeed made progress in rebuilding my life and reclaiming my identity after years of living according to someone else’s purpose. I write this book now so that anyone who has endured, or is enduring, life with authoritarian, narcissistic, or controlling people or groups may find even one idea—one resource or one suggestion or one solution—to validate and encourage their journey in making peace with their identity.
Quick update: I’ve changed the title of my book to “Identity Reclaimers: Solutions for life after undue religious influence”.